Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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