I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
