On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
