after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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