the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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