It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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