Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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