it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
