Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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