You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
