porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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