its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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