I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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