so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
BRING THE BAGELS
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
