I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
