By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize