Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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