I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
