So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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