Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
