next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
