I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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