We're facebook friends in real life
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
