It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
