You're completely useless in the revolution.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
