thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I need to calm my uterus...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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