This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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