Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
you traded sex for a burrito?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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