Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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