I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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