There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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