Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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