Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
