She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
