He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
