just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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