you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize