White coat. Heels.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
