The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
