She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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