my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
