Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
