i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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