i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I can't put those talents on a resume
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
