when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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