Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
