break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
