Where is the hickey?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
