Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Everclear isn't food dammit
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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