chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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