You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
