hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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