sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize