did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
