All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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