My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
