What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize