we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
