I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Can I color on your dick again?
It's blow job season.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
